The Dead Tooth

This is the epitome of my sister, I'll call her Ann to protect her identity, although if knows my family they won't need to guess which sister "Ann" is.

My mother and Ann have always fought constantly. Not in the normal way mothers and daughters fight. I once heard Ann tell my mom that she was essentially a whore because she needed her uterus to give her self worth. WTF.

Ann is also 24 years old and as a result has been off my parents insurance for a number of years. She has her own insurance plan that covers dental. However, Ann evidently never felt the need to find her own dentist (our family dentist wasn't one of the dentists approved by her plan) and as a result hadn't until recently seen a dentist in three years. About a month ago Ann walked into the family home and started screaming at my mother and father that they were terrible parents who didn't allow her to see a dentist. Ann explained that it's our mothers fault because she never made Ann an appointment. Ann is fully capable in making other appointments (doctor's visits, hair appointments..) but it apparently fell on my mother to make her 24 year old daughter dental visits.

My parents, feeling guilty, said that they would pay out of their pocket for her to visit the family dentist, as Ann didn't want to go to someone new. If you think this makes no sense now, just wait.

I got a call from my mother a few days ago in hysterics. Ann returned from her dentist appointment in tears because she had a dead tooth and needed a root canal. She blamed my mom and went on a rampage explaining how it was all her fault that she needed to get one of the most painful procedures known to man. Although I tried to explain to my mom that this was in no way her fault, she still felt overwhelmingly guilty. Why hadn't she made sure Ann saw a dentist? All her other three kids had. Would she have been able to prevent this dead tooth fiasco from happening? Ann also called me to complain about how horrible our parents are and that they favor all of the other kids but her. Although I knew she was being completely irrational, I couldn't help also pity her. It's not like a root canal is supposed to be fun. Phone calls from my other sister Margaret and my dad followed, everyone throwing their 10 cents into the mess known as Ann's dead tooth.


A few days later my brother, we will call him Ed, had to make his own dental appointment and so he called to make one himself, (he is 18) and when the office called back to confirm it my mom picked up. She asked if she should make an appointment for her daughter Ann, for the root canal. The dentist got on the phone and was confused. Yes, he just saw Ann but she had no dental problems. Not even a cavity! NO DEAD TOOTH! The ENTIRE story was a lie, just to make my mom feel guilty!

When Ann returned home to do her laundry a few days later, Ed dropped the bomb. Everyone in the family knew she was a liar among other things. My mom walked in and Ann went off the walls, "HOW DARE YOU SNOOP ON ME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO INVESTIGATE INTO MY LIFE!!!" and stormed out.

There are few people in this world who would make up such a heinous lie and yet feel that the people who caught her in the lie are the ones in the wrong. Ann falls into that special category.

Top 10 things

My younger brother, Danny, is applying for college and his application for Wake Forest requires him to list his top ten things. Weird? Maybe. Anyways I decided to create my own little list. These are in no particular order. 

1. laughing so hard that your stomach is sore for days

2. haircuts

3. celebrity gossip - usually via perezhilton.com

4. sarcasm 

5. sleeping/beds

6. warm weather

7. Grilled Cheese/tomato sandwiches with orange juice as the drink

8. Labrador puppies (although I do love labs at all ages)

9. Dancing 

10. On demand cable

Why hello there, 2010

So this is my first entry, which I guess is a big deal. It's also January 1st, 2010 which signifies the beginning and end of a few things in my life. This year I'm turning 22, graduating college, and the transformation from student to adult will be complete. I have no idea what I will be doing in a year from now and I have no resolutions. Awesome. 

A LOOK BACK ON HOW I STARTED THE YEAR 2009:

Last year on NYE (I hate this abbrev. but accept it) I had just returned from my semester abroad. I studied in London (which I realize is the diet of abroad programs but whatever, again, accept it) and I had convinced myself that I had returned more mature and confident. I found myself at a bar with about 99% of my high school graduating class and quickly learned I hadn't changed much since high school. The bar was extremely crowded and there was hardly any room to move. Seriously, I'm amazed I didn't return with some sort of air born strand of herpes.

 At some point in the night I found my cousin Patrick in the crowd and we started talking about our family and how ridiculous we all are. We were in an uncomfortably close proximity because of the volume of people in the bar, and the fact we were related didn't help. We both lost track of the time and suddenly the countdown to Midnight began. "10, 9, 8" we both looked at each other in horror. We had 10 seconds to make moves so that we didn't spend the moment where 2008 turned into 2009 together. Close together. There was no where to go and our faces were about six inches apart. "7, 6, 5" and I began to panic. At that moment I saw a blond girl next to my cousin, staring at me. F. This had to be his latest romance. And this girl  thought I was trying to move in on Patrick when the ball dropped. I literally can't imagine a more horrifying scenario than making out with my cousin at New Years. My family may be many things but incestuous we are not. I looked around and everyone had already paired up. HOW HAD I LOST TRACK OF TIME? "4, 3, 2..." I looked at Patrick who had a look of pure terror in his eyes as his lady glared at him and me.  I yelled "I'll see you later my BLOOD RELATIVE Patrick" and pivot turned away. "1...HAPPY NEW YEARS" and I was the girl, alone, standing inches from her cousin as he made out with a girl who thought I was trying to get it on with my cousin. Pathetic. 

Ringing in 2009 was with out a doubt the most awkward and pitiful of my NYE celebrations. Well, last night could have been as uncomfortable, but I chose to drink in excess and remember little of it. 

Bring it on 2010.